It’s been 42+ days since things started being shut down and stay-at-home orders started being put in place. 42 DAYS. That amount of time being forced to stay home is enough to make anyone stir-crazy and make tensions run high. But let me level with you for a second. Just because the bars, restaurants, movie theaters, parks, and more are closed does not give you an excuse to stop dating your significant other. Dating is a crucial part of actively working to keep a relationship strong, healthy, and functional and it’s not something to sacrifice. Maybe you stopped dating your spouse or significant other a long time ago before the world decided to shut down (things happen I get it) and if that’s the case I hope this encourages you to pick it up again because you and your other deserve it. Planned time together (AKA date nights) enhances your friendship and your emotional connectedness with your significant other. It’s dedicated time to sit with each other, to reconnect, to communicate, to focus on your intimacy, and strengthen your commitment to each other. If you don’t believe me, read about the 5 Love Languages, and/or read The Marriage Clinic, both were written by psychologists who specialize in relationships.

So, I thought it would be a good idea to share some of the home date nights Jacob and I put together to encourage you all to spend some time with your others. We learned early on in our relationship that dating does not have to be expensive, and it doesn’t have to mean GOING anywhere. There are plenty of ways that we date each other on a regular basis from home. The point is just having intentional time together without social distractions or interruptions. We’ve been setting aside time at least once a week with either a movie night or a nice homemade dinner set up restaurant style, etc. and taking time to check in with each other, to discuss our mental ups and downs, and communicate with each other.

Let me start you off with a home date night idea:

HAVE A FANCY

DINNER UNDER THE STARS

We have a concrete patio, so we sweeped and made sure it was free of pine cones and leaves and washed away the pollen that had collected.

STEP ONE: Clean up your outside space

Maybe you have a giant backyard, maybe you have a postage stamp sized yard, maybe you live in an apartment and have a balcony, maybe you don’t have any outside space at all and have to DIY it by driving to an outside space. Regardless of what kind of outside situation you have, go ahead and set up a nice area for both of you. Make sure your area is cleaned up, sweep or rake leaves if you need to, and make sure it’s not muddy. Plan to put together two seating areas, either comfy with blankets and pillows in the grass or at a table with chairs.

We like to purposely collect items from thrift shops over time to create special nights together. I got this entire 10 place setting vintage amber glass dinner set for $50 from Goodwill years ago, they always have all kinds of great glass finds for … — We like to purposely collect items from thrift shops over time to create special nights together. I got this entire 10 place setting vintage amber glass dinner set for $50 from Goodwill years ago, they always have all kinds of great glass finds for cheap. I also got the wood serving board for $2 and we found our folding card table for free at a yard sale.

STEP TWO: Set your table

Get your table ready, even if you aren’t using a table. Be intentional about this, put some time into it and care about the moment you’re giving each other. It doesn’t have to be the fanciest thing in the world, but make it an upgrade from how you usually eat dinner with adding some extras. If you’re going picnic style, get the blankets all set up and give yourself a few pillows for comfort. If you’ve got a table you’re using get it set up with some kind of table covering and add some comfort to your chairs if they don’t already have pillows. Use real plates and silverware, whatever kind you have. Have fun with it and make it as pretty as you can. We didn’t have an outdoor table at the time, so we took a cheap folding table someone was giving away for free and covered it with some tablecloths, put out our fanciest plates (a glass amber-ware dish set I grabbed years ago at Goodwill for next to nothing) and some placemats anc chargers we kept from our wedding, trimmed a few flowers and put them in a cup for a centerpiece, and set out our two little bistro chairs with pillows and comfy things thrown on them.

Stick to mild scents or unscented for candles so they don’t interfere with the flavor of your food.

STEP THREE: Set the mood

Create some ambient lighting to encourage romance. You can use candles, your bedside lamps, Christmas lights, or whatever you have on hand. We stole the hanging pendant light from our guest room and hung it on our fence and grabbed some of our Christmas lights to hang from a tree and we topped it off with a few candles on the table. Just make sure you’re not adding too much light pollution so you can still see all that pretty night glitter in the sky.

I don’t have a bucket to keep the wine chilled, so I just used a cookie jar and some ice cubes, don’t judge.

STEP FOUR: Prep your drinks for the evening

Chill a bottle of wine or some beers (stick some cups in the freezer for your beers), make some fresh sweet tea or lemonade, discover a new cocktail or mocktail recipe you can mix up ahead of time, or step up your water game by infusing it with some fruit or herbs. Sometimes my favorite part about when we do go out to eat is getting to try a fun new drink, it’s also the only time we ever drink soft drinks because we’re trying to cut back at home, so make your date night feel more like a night out by switching up your standard dinner drink. Check out the drinks page at www.allrecipes.com for some really great ideas. For this particular date night we stuck with a bottle of wine we’d been saving that my mom gifted us before we left Virginia and some lemon infused water.

Thanks to the prep, I only took about 20-30 minutes out of our night to pop things in the oven and plate them once they were cooked.

STEP FIVE: Prep your dinner ahead of time

I know not everyone is a chef, so if you prefer to order out go ahead and get your order set up the morning of to be delivered when you want that evening. If you’re going to cook yourselves, get everything you can prepped the morning of to save time. That way you can focus entirely on your night together. Chop up any veggies you can, dry rub or marinate any meats or proteins, and make your salad. If you’re cooking potatoes that are going to be in larger chunks (like quartered and roasted) you can cut them ahead of time and soak them in cold water for up to 8 hours. Pre-mince your garlic, dice your onions, etc. We planned on making an air-fried whole chicken, roasted potatoes, green bean casserole, and a nice salad. So our prep looked a little like this:

• After breakfast that morning, I mixed up my seasonings for my chicken and prepped it with the olive oil and seasonings and stuffed it with a quartered onion, lemon, and some garlic cloves.

• Then I cleaned and quartered my potatoes. Because I pre-boil my roasted potatoes I went ahead and dumped them in the pot I was planning on using, made sure they were fully immersed with cold water, and then I added 2 teaspoons of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda (it helps with the crisp later).

• I premixed the wet portion of my green bean casserole in the dish I was planning on cooking it in so that all I had to do at dinner time was mix in the fried onions.

• I make my own homemade croutons for salads so I went ahead and made those so they would be ready to go. It’s easy, just chop up whatever bread you want to use into bite sized chunks (I used a ciabatta roll), toss the chunks in some olive oil and your favorite seasonings (I use salt, pepper, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning), and then put in the oven at 350°F for 8-10 minutes until golden and crunchy. Then I washed my lettuce and prepped my salad with everything except for the parmesan cheese because cheese gets soggy on salads when left too long.

And that’s it, dinner was ready to put on and all the leg work was done so we could sit and enjoy our drinks while dinner cooked.

You can check out the recipes for my air fried whole chicken, roasted thyme potatoes, green bean casserole, and seasonal salad with homemade croutons here!

STEP SIX: Get dressed!

Just because you’re staying home, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun getting dressed nice for each other. Dress to impress your partner, you know you love when they dress up for you, so return the favor. You don’t have to go ball gown and tux level, you can be as comfortable as you both decide, but you definitely have to change out of the sweats and leggings you’ve been living in since quarantine started. And make sure you’re freshly showered and smell nice, the little things are important. It was a little chilly out so we both decided on cozy warmer clothes, but next time we might go all out with a dress for me and khakis for him. We like to mix it up each date night.

STEP SEVEN: Sit back, enjoy your hard work and delicious food, spend time together, watch the stars, and COMMUNICATE

Make sure your phones are off and away, if you have kids get them set up doing something on their own if possible, and try to limit your distractions. Take a moment before you eat to thank each other for the work you both put into your night and then be intentional with each other. Pull out all your “moves”, compliment each other, love on each other, crack some jokes, treat it just like you did your first date night. Here’s a few questions to ask each other to start a deeper conversation:

• Name the top 5 things you love about me.

• What did I do recently that made you happy? Sad? Angry? Annoyed? Feel loved?

• Are you proud of me? Why?

• What is something I do that you wish I wouldn’t?

• How can I be a better partner to you?

If you aren’t sure where to go after those questions, check out this deck of 199 questions geared towards couples.

Then after you’ve had a long conversation over your meal together, take some time to relax in the silence together and enjoy the beautiful sky and hopefully beautiful weather. Hold each other and be there in the moment with each other. Point out constellations if you can find them, point out planes flying by, and embrace some natural curiosity about what’s out there in the stars.